In the morning, I will rise
Dry the tears from my eyes.
My hope comes from up above
As You look on me with love.
God, You are all I need.
You're my Father, You're my Friend,
You're my Joy that will never end.
I will love You all my days
Praise You with all my ways.
God, You are all I need.
In the noontime pause of day
As I humbly stop to pray
I give You thanks for all I "own"
It's not mine, it's yours to loan.
God, You are all I need.
In the evening as I lie down to rest
I ask You, have I done my best?
My hope is still to please You more
As each day opens up it's door.
God, You are all I need.
Karen Logan
February 24, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
My life is Diabetes or Diabetes is my life
I am bummed. Seriously, seriously bummed. I went to the doctor today for my usual 4 month or so blood sugar average (called an A1c) checkup. I knew it might be higher because of all the holiday temptations I couldn't resist, but I didn't think it was as high as it is. He threatened me with insulin if I didn't get it down. I am not ready to make that step yet. So now I am trying to figure out how to change my eating habits, what I can get by with without cooking a lot, and although I have been diabetic for 8 years now, I still don't really know what spikes me and what doesn't.
Diabetes requires a lot of monitoring, stuff I don't have the patience for, like keeping a food log so you can know what food you should not eat, testing your blood sugar at least twice a day, if not more in case you are monitoring your food intake closely. Making sure I have glucose tablets handy, or candy or something with sugar so I can treat myself if my blood sugar goes low. The problem with candy is my giant sweet tooth which means I want the candy when I'm not low. I buy the small sizes of candy with sugar in it because sugar free candy tends to have a laxative effect, so I don't eat it very often. Then there's the sick episodes I have almost every day where for a little while my stomach doesn't feel good, but it passes pretty quickly. When I take all my morning medicine, it's 7 different pills and 3 are for the diabetes alone. Then I take the same 3 at night. I am always afraid to eat too much in case it might make my sugar go up too much, but then it might backfire on me and I might eat too little and need to eat more later. I try to eat something every two or three hours to keep my sugar level more even.
I don't like to cook. Not at all. I used to like baking, but in this apartment, the smoke alarm is so close to the kitchen it goes off every time I take something out of the oven. So I don't bake much. However, I need to start cooking more and eating healthier. I need a really simple diabetes meal plan, but there's so many different plans and ways to do things out there that I am totally lost. I guess I have been depending too much on my medication to keep me in control. I am trying to get in the habit of doing simple yoga and I'm thinking about walking around the apartment complex in the early mornings.
With diabetes, like it's name, you either beat it as best you can or you die. I'm terrified. Just plain scared that if I don't beat back hard enough, it's going to beat me. Please keep me in your prayers.
Diabetes requires a lot of monitoring, stuff I don't have the patience for, like keeping a food log so you can know what food you should not eat, testing your blood sugar at least twice a day, if not more in case you are monitoring your food intake closely. Making sure I have glucose tablets handy, or candy or something with sugar so I can treat myself if my blood sugar goes low. The problem with candy is my giant sweet tooth which means I want the candy when I'm not low. I buy the small sizes of candy with sugar in it because sugar free candy tends to have a laxative effect, so I don't eat it very often. Then there's the sick episodes I have almost every day where for a little while my stomach doesn't feel good, but it passes pretty quickly. When I take all my morning medicine, it's 7 different pills and 3 are for the diabetes alone. Then I take the same 3 at night. I am always afraid to eat too much in case it might make my sugar go up too much, but then it might backfire on me and I might eat too little and need to eat more later. I try to eat something every two or three hours to keep my sugar level more even.
I don't like to cook. Not at all. I used to like baking, but in this apartment, the smoke alarm is so close to the kitchen it goes off every time I take something out of the oven. So I don't bake much. However, I need to start cooking more and eating healthier. I need a really simple diabetes meal plan, but there's so many different plans and ways to do things out there that I am totally lost. I guess I have been depending too much on my medication to keep me in control. I am trying to get in the habit of doing simple yoga and I'm thinking about walking around the apartment complex in the early mornings.
With diabetes, like it's name, you either beat it as best you can or you die. I'm terrified. Just plain scared that if I don't beat back hard enough, it's going to beat me. Please keep me in your prayers.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Year 2013
It's been a while since I have written anything in this blog so the first day of the new year is a good time to remedy that. I won't write much Just want to throw out some words to remember this year as we tackle the future day by day, minute by minute. Pick the ones you like and go for it with gusto!
N= NEW. Since each day is a new one, let's go forth each day and try to embrace one new idea, one new thought that captures your attention or one new attitude you didn't have the previous day. Try to look at old problems with new eyes and new thoughts towards resolving them.
E=ENERGY. I know some days are full of activities to do, things to remember, problems to solve, but save some of your energy to focus your mind toward God at some point in the day. Remember he is the Author of your days and He deserves attention every day.
W=WELCOME. Welcome each day as a new opportunity to do good, to serve, to give back. Welcome those troubling thoughts you have because it's obvious that you are meant to grow from them, and then do just that: grow!
Y=YEARNING. Cultivate yearning in your heart and your mind for more of God's peace and wisdom. Yearn to love more, do more, be more the kind of person God made you to be.He did not make you to be a bad person, full of evil and malice, but kind and good, with self-control and a loving and generous heart.
E=EAGER. Be eager to seek God's will for your life. Try to read more of His Word. The best thing I ever did last year was to read the Bible through out loud. I feel like I grew spiritually and it blessed me. This year I am going to read through the Daily Guideposts 2013. I look forward to that.
A=ASSIMILATE. Use the new things you learn, the welcoming you do of each day's opportunities, the yearnings of your heart and mind, the eagerness that you have to seek God to assimilate them into your daily existence so that you are not even aware that you are doing them. They will be as natural to you as breathing.
R=RUN. Run literally, run figuratively, run with all your heart, soul, mind and strength toward what God has called you to do in each day of your life. Do not be afraid, but seek His will, His way, and He will be with you through it all.
God bless you all as live each day in this new year!
N= NEW. Since each day is a new one, let's go forth each day and try to embrace one new idea, one new thought that captures your attention or one new attitude you didn't have the previous day. Try to look at old problems with new eyes and new thoughts towards resolving them.
E=ENERGY. I know some days are full of activities to do, things to remember, problems to solve, but save some of your energy to focus your mind toward God at some point in the day. Remember he is the Author of your days and He deserves attention every day.
W=WELCOME. Welcome each day as a new opportunity to do good, to serve, to give back. Welcome those troubling thoughts you have because it's obvious that you are meant to grow from them, and then do just that: grow!
Y=YEARNING. Cultivate yearning in your heart and your mind for more of God's peace and wisdom. Yearn to love more, do more, be more the kind of person God made you to be.He did not make you to be a bad person, full of evil and malice, but kind and good, with self-control and a loving and generous heart.
E=EAGER. Be eager to seek God's will for your life. Try to read more of His Word. The best thing I ever did last year was to read the Bible through out loud. I feel like I grew spiritually and it blessed me. This year I am going to read through the Daily Guideposts 2013. I look forward to that.
A=ASSIMILATE. Use the new things you learn, the welcoming you do of each day's opportunities, the yearnings of your heart and mind, the eagerness that you have to seek God to assimilate them into your daily existence so that you are not even aware that you are doing them. They will be as natural to you as breathing.
R=RUN. Run literally, run figuratively, run with all your heart, soul, mind and strength toward what God has called you to do in each day of your life. Do not be afraid, but seek His will, His way, and He will be with you through it all.
God bless you all as live each day in this new year!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wishing for a Revival
I have just finished a book by J. Edwin Orr, titled The Flaming Tongue: The Impact of Early 20th Century Revivals. It was very dry reading for the most part but I found it to be interesting due to the worldwide impact of what is referred to as the Welsh Revival of 1904-1905. Although the impact did not actually begin with the Welsh Revival, it was rather due to spontaneous prayer meetings arising all over the world. The Welsh Revival is probably known as it's greatest catalyst however. It was a time of great awakening, of confessions, of repentance, of coming together with others to manifest changes in their lives.
Here is a quote from page 193: "The story of the Welsh Revival is astounding. Begun with prayer meetings of less than a score of intercessors, when it burst its bounds the churches of Wales were crowded for more than two years. [emphasis mine] A hundred thousand outsiders were converted and added to the churches, the vast majority remaining true to the end. Drunkenness was immediately cut in half, and many taverns went bankrupt. Crime was so diminished that judges were presented with white gloves signifying that there were no cases of murder, assault, rape or robbery or the like to consider. The police became "unemployed" in many districts. Stoppages occurred in coal-mines, not due to unpleasantness between management and workers, but because so many foul-mouthed miners became converted and stopped using foul language that the horses which hauled the coal trucks in the mines could no longer understand what was being said to them, and transportation ground to a halt."
Reading this book, I was just astonished that this was taking place a little over 100 years ago. What has happened in this past century that has negated these awakenings for the most part? Is it the brutal wars? The advances of modern technology? The ability to travel from one end of the world in a day or two as opposed to weeks or months? Communication is almost instantaneous now with computers and cell phones and satellites. It seems to me that they are perfect tools to generate revival, yet that is not happening. I'm not a missionary, nor a theologian. I have no answers. Only questions. I exist with wishes, with desires, with longing to have experiences like the people from 100 years ago did. I would love for my Facebook news feed to be free of hate and criticism but I am the first to point my finger at myself for spreading such myself. My heart longs to be more Christ-like and I know that the Lord is working on my heart even now. My anger rises with each hurtful and hateful post on Facebook I see from others and it is very hard to keep my mouth shut and not create further issues. I just want to know Christ and not be political in nature or divisive among people I associate with and even with people I don't know. I could stop using Facebook, but I cherish the friends I have on it and would not want to lose contact with them.
My whole point in this post is just to bring to you a small awareness of something that happened a century ago that made a difference in many many lives across the world. I wish what happened then could happen now, a revival of the Lord's people that could impact the world for good. May God bless you with awakening in your heart and soul.
Here is a quote from page 193: "The story of the Welsh Revival is astounding. Begun with prayer meetings of less than a score of intercessors, when it burst its bounds the churches of Wales were crowded for more than two years. [emphasis mine] A hundred thousand outsiders were converted and added to the churches, the vast majority remaining true to the end. Drunkenness was immediately cut in half, and many taverns went bankrupt. Crime was so diminished that judges were presented with white gloves signifying that there were no cases of murder, assault, rape or robbery or the like to consider. The police became "unemployed" in many districts. Stoppages occurred in coal-mines, not due to unpleasantness between management and workers, but because so many foul-mouthed miners became converted and stopped using foul language that the horses which hauled the coal trucks in the mines could no longer understand what was being said to them, and transportation ground to a halt."
Reading this book, I was just astonished that this was taking place a little over 100 years ago. What has happened in this past century that has negated these awakenings for the most part? Is it the brutal wars? The advances of modern technology? The ability to travel from one end of the world in a day or two as opposed to weeks or months? Communication is almost instantaneous now with computers and cell phones and satellites. It seems to me that they are perfect tools to generate revival, yet that is not happening. I'm not a missionary, nor a theologian. I have no answers. Only questions. I exist with wishes, with desires, with longing to have experiences like the people from 100 years ago did. I would love for my Facebook news feed to be free of hate and criticism but I am the first to point my finger at myself for spreading such myself. My heart longs to be more Christ-like and I know that the Lord is working on my heart even now. My anger rises with each hurtful and hateful post on Facebook I see from others and it is very hard to keep my mouth shut and not create further issues. I just want to know Christ and not be political in nature or divisive among people I associate with and even with people I don't know. I could stop using Facebook, but I cherish the friends I have on it and would not want to lose contact with them.
My whole point in this post is just to bring to you a small awareness of something that happened a century ago that made a difference in many many lives across the world. I wish what happened then could happen now, a revival of the Lord's people that could impact the world for good. May God bless you with awakening in your heart and soul.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Praising God Even With Diabetes
Today I am thinking of how I can use my diabetes to praise the Lord. I want to know why God made our bodies so we could get this disease! It's not easy. it's a chronic illness. It never leaves me, not for one second or one hour or even a day. I never get a break from it. Ever. When I'm hungry, I can't eat just anything anymore. I have to think how many carbs it has, how much sugar, whether it affects my blood sugar really bad or just a little bit. Or sometimes I just don't even think about it at all and let the chips (pun intended) fall where they may. I suffer the consequences later, when those little pin and needle twinges hit me. Nerve damage. Oh great. So far I don't use insulin. But the longer I have diabetes the more probability exists that I will have to begin to use it. Praise the Lord for pain? I'm working on it. slowly.
My sweet tooth is not just a little bitty thing in my mouth, it IS my mouth. I praise the Lord for chocolate. I praise the Lord for cake, and pie, and cookies and candy, and for the Girl Scouts who sell those cookies RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS when I am determined to get my A1C (average of blood glucose in the last 3 months) back below 7. I praise the Lord that I have to control my sweet tooth/mouth a little more now. But "sugar free" just doesn't taste the same. I'm told dark chocolate is best to eat, but I want MILK chocolate. Praise the Lord for alternatives? I'm working on it. Slowly.
I still haven't started exercising yet. I know it's supposed to help keep the blood sugar down and get the weight off. I don't really need to lose weight. I actually need to gain a few pounds so my face doesn't look so caved in anymore. But I still need to exercise to gain muscle strength, and stamina. I thought about Yoga. But do you know what Yoga really stands for? You're Only Gonna Ache! But I will give it a try because I really don't feel like bouncing around doing aerobics. Praise the Lord for even more pain? I'm working on it. Slowly.
One thing I intensely dislike about diabetes is having to check my blood sugar. I have a glucose meter with test strips to collect the blood after I use these little lancet things on my fingers. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't. Depends on which fingers I use. If I hit a nerve that's when it hurts. So I try to stick on the side of my finger so it won't hurt. I have had a bad fear of needles since I was really small. It took me 3 days to get up the courage just to stick myself for blood sugar readings after I was diagnosed. Seven years later I still don't like it. The future insulin will be a nightmare for me to overcome probably. I don't even look when I get my blood drawn for checking my A1C. Praise the Lord for advanced knowledge, medicine, and testing skills? You betcha I'm working on it. Slowly.
There's nothing really good about diabetes. Not one single stinking thing. It messes up your life in more ways than you can even imagine. If you have a history of diabetes in your family, get tested now for prediabetes. You don't want it. If you are overweight and your doctor tells you that you are in danger of getting diabetes, get the weight off now. Your diabetes will never leave you, even though some people say that they don't have diabetes anymore after losing weight, etc. I don't believe that for a minute. It's just more controlled. You have to watch what you eat, take care of yourself, get exercise, pay attention to the signals of your body every day. The low sugar episodes are no fun, going high can be scary. It's a constant monitoring. In some ways diabetes is like our spiritual lives. With constant monitoring, we can stay in control, keep away from sin and the bad stuff that causes us to get out of control and have a great relationship with God. Praise the Lord for diabetes? I'm working on it. Slowly.
My sweet tooth is not just a little bitty thing in my mouth, it IS my mouth. I praise the Lord for chocolate. I praise the Lord for cake, and pie, and cookies and candy, and for the Girl Scouts who sell those cookies RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS when I am determined to get my A1C (average of blood glucose in the last 3 months) back below 7. I praise the Lord that I have to control my sweet tooth/mouth a little more now. But "sugar free" just doesn't taste the same. I'm told dark chocolate is best to eat, but I want MILK chocolate. Praise the Lord for alternatives? I'm working on it. Slowly.
I still haven't started exercising yet. I know it's supposed to help keep the blood sugar down and get the weight off. I don't really need to lose weight. I actually need to gain a few pounds so my face doesn't look so caved in anymore. But I still need to exercise to gain muscle strength, and stamina. I thought about Yoga. But do you know what Yoga really stands for? You're Only Gonna Ache! But I will give it a try because I really don't feel like bouncing around doing aerobics. Praise the Lord for even more pain? I'm working on it. Slowly.
One thing I intensely dislike about diabetes is having to check my blood sugar. I have a glucose meter with test strips to collect the blood after I use these little lancet things on my fingers. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't. Depends on which fingers I use. If I hit a nerve that's when it hurts. So I try to stick on the side of my finger so it won't hurt. I have had a bad fear of needles since I was really small. It took me 3 days to get up the courage just to stick myself for blood sugar readings after I was diagnosed. Seven years later I still don't like it. The future insulin will be a nightmare for me to overcome probably. I don't even look when I get my blood drawn for checking my A1C. Praise the Lord for advanced knowledge, medicine, and testing skills? You betcha I'm working on it. Slowly.
There's nothing really good about diabetes. Not one single stinking thing. It messes up your life in more ways than you can even imagine. If you have a history of diabetes in your family, get tested now for prediabetes. You don't want it. If you are overweight and your doctor tells you that you are in danger of getting diabetes, get the weight off now. Your diabetes will never leave you, even though some people say that they don't have diabetes anymore after losing weight, etc. I don't believe that for a minute. It's just more controlled. You have to watch what you eat, take care of yourself, get exercise, pay attention to the signals of your body every day. The low sugar episodes are no fun, going high can be scary. It's a constant monitoring. In some ways diabetes is like our spiritual lives. With constant monitoring, we can stay in control, keep away from sin and the bad stuff that causes us to get out of control and have a great relationship with God. Praise the Lord for diabetes? I'm working on it. Slowly.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I can't explain it...I'm just Southern
First of all, I must confess, I have never been outside the Southeastern United States. So my understanding of life in other parts of the good ole USA is limited. But I love my Southern roots, I am here to stay, I am not going anywhere. But maybe I am not the typical Southerner.
For you see...
Rednecks make me cringe...including the red necks from too much sun.
Even though I am a GRIT...Girl Raised in the South....I hate grits!
Green is a great color for a football field, but don't put green on my plate! That includes, collard greens, turnip greens, kale. any kind of greens like that. But unlike George H. W. Bush, I will eat broccoli.
Blue is my favorite color, but don't make look at the Boise State football field, please!
I root for the Alabama Crimson Tide, yet I come from a divided family. My father was an Auburn graduate. My mother attended Alabama. My niece is about to graduate from Auburn. So it is hard for me to be completely for one side or the other. But what's more Southern than SEC football? Since I graduated from Alabama and also worked there for 25 years I tend to be a pretty devoted Crimson Tide fan who loves her Auburn fan friends and family dearly.
I'm a girl who loves to read, loves to shop, loves to keep up with what's going on in the world, but I still wear clothes that I bought many years ago. They are out of style, too big, etc, but because they are in good conidtion, I continue to wear them because I am no New York fashion plate. Life in the South is comfortable, laid-back, restful. I like that...A LOT!
I'm very cold natured. Summers here get hot, but I don't mind them so much. I just put more layers on against the AC.
Even though I live in the South, where everything is more fun outdoors, I am not an outdoorsy girl. I don't play sports, I don't sit outside, fanning away the flies. I stay inside all layered up against the AC.
Boiled peanuts? No thanks. Whoppers? No thanks. Fried chicken, yes please! Mashed potatoes, put gravy on it please! Black eyed peas and cornbread make my southern taste buds explode! I'll also have some nanner puddin' for dessert, please. Sweet tea? Yes, but I take it with Splenda now. If you have Diet Sunkist, I'll have that later with my pecan pie that I'm saving for my snack. (And it's not Peecan, it's Pe-cahn)
I guess all is not lost in me. I do have a few Southern graces. And some grit to hold on to.
If you act nice, I'll even listen while you tell me all the things I forgot to mention about being Southern.
For you see...
Rednecks make me cringe...including the red necks from too much sun.
Even though I am a GRIT...Girl Raised in the South....I hate grits!
Green is a great color for a football field, but don't put green on my plate! That includes, collard greens, turnip greens, kale. any kind of greens like that. But unlike George H. W. Bush, I will eat broccoli.
Blue is my favorite color, but don't make look at the Boise State football field, please!
I root for the Alabama Crimson Tide, yet I come from a divided family. My father was an Auburn graduate. My mother attended Alabama. My niece is about to graduate from Auburn. So it is hard for me to be completely for one side or the other. But what's more Southern than SEC football? Since I graduated from Alabama and also worked there for 25 years I tend to be a pretty devoted Crimson Tide fan who loves her Auburn fan friends and family dearly.
I'm a girl who loves to read, loves to shop, loves to keep up with what's going on in the world, but I still wear clothes that I bought many years ago. They are out of style, too big, etc, but because they are in good conidtion, I continue to wear them because I am no New York fashion plate. Life in the South is comfortable, laid-back, restful. I like that...A LOT!
I'm very cold natured. Summers here get hot, but I don't mind them so much. I just put more layers on against the AC.
Even though I live in the South, where everything is more fun outdoors, I am not an outdoorsy girl. I don't play sports, I don't sit outside, fanning away the flies. I stay inside all layered up against the AC.
Boiled peanuts? No thanks. Whoppers? No thanks. Fried chicken, yes please! Mashed potatoes, put gravy on it please! Black eyed peas and cornbread make my southern taste buds explode! I'll also have some nanner puddin' for dessert, please. Sweet tea? Yes, but I take it with Splenda now. If you have Diet Sunkist, I'll have that later with my pecan pie that I'm saving for my snack. (And it's not Peecan, it's Pe-cahn)
I guess all is not lost in me. I do have a few Southern graces. And some grit to hold on to.
If you act nice, I'll even listen while you tell me all the things I forgot to mention about being Southern.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Two Weeks and Counting
Two weeks from today will be my long-awaited disability appeal hearing. To say I am nervous would be an understatement. I have no idea what will happen or how long it will take for the judge to make a decision. I just know I am tired of waiting and ready to get this over with no matter how nervous I am. Then after that comes the anxiety of waiting for the decision. In the meantime, life goes on pretty much as it has for the last year and a half. I still struggle with having enough money. I never seem to have enough to pay bills and buy groceries and I hate having to ask anyone for help. I have 2 doctor appointments this month as well. I know my A1C test (3 month blood sugar average) is not going to be the best. I just hope it's not above what it was in October. But I have been so stressed and anxious and with the holidays, I have just wanted to eat all the time. I never feel satisfied hunger-wise or emotionally.
I don't have very much to say about this situation. Just wanted to post a message about it and ask for prayers over the next couple of weeks. For my health and well-being, for my ability to be verbally articulate at the hearing and for the outcome of it all to be positive. I am hoping for a tax refund this year that will be sufficient to handle some of my overdue bills and to be able to stock up on groceries again. I am a meat and potatoes girl, not a veggie person, and I am having to steel myself to start the process of eating nothing but veggies for the next two or three weeks.
Thank you all so much for your friendship and prayers. It means the world to me! Bless you, dear friends!
I don't have very much to say about this situation. Just wanted to post a message about it and ask for prayers over the next couple of weeks. For my health and well-being, for my ability to be verbally articulate at the hearing and for the outcome of it all to be positive. I am hoping for a tax refund this year that will be sufficient to handle some of my overdue bills and to be able to stock up on groceries again. I am a meat and potatoes girl, not a veggie person, and I am having to steel myself to start the process of eating nothing but veggies for the next two or three weeks.
Thank you all so much for your friendship and prayers. It means the world to me! Bless you, dear friends!
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