Anxiety is my middle name

Not much is going on with me, NOT!  I am feeling super anxious these days and it doesn't go away. Last night I woke up every 2 hours and it didn't help that the dog was laying at my feet and I couldn't stretch my legs out.
I have no job, and no source of income other than my retirement check which magically shows up in my bank account on the last working day of the month.  I have to find a new place to live so I can move at the end of June.  I wasn't going to say anything about this till it was done, but a few people already know that I am in the middle of a divorce.  It's not easy and not an easy choice to make.  My husband and I will remain really good friends and I think he will be there for me if I need someone.  Our 3rd anniversary is coming up on March 17 and I'm thinking the divorce will be final by then.
He will be here until May, but I am really worried about paying the bills in May and June because I will be by myself in my house (along with the cat, who can't help me there!) and the rent takes up all but 219 dollars of the retirement check.  gotta find a way to at least keep the power on and water running so I can keep clean and Midnight the cat can have water. Don't know if I will have tv or internet access. I dread going back to apartment living.  I love living in a house, but how can I afford it?  I've never been able to be thrifty and save money.  Living paycheck to paycheck is the norm in my life.  Not to mention I can't drive and can't afford a car and gas and insurance even if I could possibly learn at this late date. I was stupid not to learn when I was young, I admit that.  But when you have a double handicap you have twice the fear.
So how do I get to a job unless I live close by the workplace?  I lived near the university campus for many years and walked to work.  I realize there are buses and trolleys and cabs but they all cost money to use and I'm not going to have much extra for that.  So I really need to find something I can do from home that will bring the extra funds in that I need.  I tried the gift basket business and I loved the products but they were expensive and I'm not much of an entrepreneur, especially not able to get out and get the word out about my business.  So I gave it up after a couple of months as I couldn't afford to pay 20 dollars a month for a website that was not generating any business. In the past I've also tried, Amway, Watkins and Tupperware.  I must finally give it up and say I do not have the entreprenurial gift or spirit.  So what do I do with myself?  All I know is library work and pretty much only cataloging at that.  My only talent seems to be writing, but I don't have an urge to write every day, nor do I crave to write like some lucky folks do.  What I do enjoy is computers, goofing off and playing games, receiving email through Incredimail, and creating my own Incredimail letters. I wish I knew something about graphic design, but I cannot afford nor do I want to go to school. I also loved working on the church newsletters I used to do a few years ago.  I would spend hours and hours working on them and even forgetting to eat, they absorbed all my attention.  I need to be creative. I only know how to use a PC, have never worked on a MAC. I can work on a writing for children's lit course that is all paid up but just can't seem to get going on it.  The material is boring to me.  I am anxious about many things and have a lot on my mind.
So where does God fit in during all this daily anxiety?  Well, I have prayed, but it's hard to have peace when you're not sure the Lord is pleased with you.  Especially in light of getting a divorce because we know that God hates divorce.  But I think He understands why it's happening.  And I turn to the Scriptures to read about anxiety and it says in Philippians 4:6 not to be anxious about anything but to pray with thanksgiving about every request to God and you will have peace.  I Peter 5:7 says to cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.  Proverbs 12:25 says that an anxious heart weighs a man down but a kind word cheers him up.  I could use some kind words cause I sure feel like my back's going to break.   I believe in these Scriptures with all my heart but it's just hard to follow through and trust in God to lead me in the right path.  I feel like my church family has deserted me since I've been married.  I haven't been able to get to services like I have wanted to, and no one seems to care if I am there or not.  Hopefully I am wrong and that will change because I do want to live the life that God wants me to live and I have a ride to church tomorrow.
Well, if you have read this far, thank you for doing so.  You have just jumped into an F5 tornado called Karen's Mind. It's whirling so fast I don't know where it's going. It's gonna be an interesting spring and summer! Later, guys and gals....